Sunday, March 9, 2008

Armed & Studious

PHOENIX, ARIZONA — Horrified by recent campus shootings, a state lawmaker here has come up with a proposal in keeping with the Taurus .22-caliber pistol tucked in her purse: Get more guns on campus.


The lawmaker, State Senator Karen S. Johnson, has sponsored a bill, which the Senate Judiciary Committee approved last week, that would allow people with a concealed weapons permit — limited to those 21 and older here — to carry their firearms at public colleges and universities. Concealed weapons are generally not permitted at most public establishments, including colleges.

Ms. Johnson, a Republican from Mesa, said she believed that the recent carnage at Northern Illinois University could have been prevented or limited if an armed student or professor had intercepted the gunman. The police, she said, respond too slowly to such incidents and, besides, who better than the people staring down the barrel to take action?

She initially wanted her bill to cover all public schools, kindergarten and up, but other lawmakers convinced her it stood a better chance of passing if it were limited to higher education.

“I feel like our kindergartners are sitting there like sitting ducks,” Ms. Johnson said last week when the bill passed the committee by a 4-to-3 vote.

This is a generally gun-friendly state, where people are allowed to carry a weapon on their hip without a permit as long as people can see it. Even so, Ms. Johnson acknowledges that her views come from the far right — she recently described herself, half-jokingly, she says, as a “right-wing wacko.”

Mondo knows guns don't kill people. People kill people. Sometimes, people with guns. Do the math and don't forget to wear your bulletproof vest to class.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Dirty Dishes Equals More Sex

Yes, I'm afraid it's true, men want sex, lots and lots of sex and are constantly thinking about new ways to get even more. Now, a study says that men helping out with the housework is that fastest way to Paradise City.


Dusting, vacuuming and even taking out the rubbish are the best ways to rekindle the marital flame, according to a US study of family life.

“Equitable sharing of housework is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction – and sometimes more sex too,” said Joshua Coleman, a psychologist and a senior Fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families, which commissioned the report. “Wives report greater feelings of sexual interest and affection for husbands who participate in housework.”

Mondo predicts men will soon abandon Victoria's Secret in favor of a new aphrodisiac - the isles of Bed, Bath & Beyond. Does this scrubby come in extra large?

Friday, March 7, 2008

Golfer Makes A Birdie

Pro golfer Tripp Isenhour apologized for killing a hawk that was making noise while he tried to film a TV show. Now the Humane Society wants the PGA Tour to take action.

The 39-year-old player, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, became angry while filming “Shoot Like A Pro” on Dec. 12 at the Grand Cypress Golf Club when a squawking red-shouldered hawk roughly 300 yards away forced another take.

He drove closer to the bird in his golf cart and starting hitting balls at it. The bird didn’t move and Isenhour gave up and drove away.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said, “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

“As soon as this happened, I was mortified and extremely upset and continue to be upset,” Isenhour said in a statement issued through his management company, SFX Golf. “I want to let everyone know there was neither any malice nor deliberate intent whatsoever to hit or harm the hawk. I was trying to simply scare it into flying away.”

Mondo knows this - your goose is cooked!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

007 Girl Olga Kurylenko

Meet Olga Kurylenko, who this fall stars in the 22nd Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. Mondo's shaken and stirred.

Heaven Knows Chris Farley

Chris, guess you know by now that our good friend Patrick could use a little help with the Big Guy, so Mondo's wondering if you could do him a solid and let him know that the lad needs more time before he's dirty dancing with the stars?

Hillary Strikes Back!

Mondo was surprised, shocked and inspired that Hillary fought her way off the canvas. Way to own Ohio and Texas. Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride to the convention.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Hillary, you're fired!

Hillary, what happened? You were supposed to waltz into democratic nomination on your way to being crowned our first woman President. Instead, the hard fought campaign has left you a dazed and confused pantsuited politico.


Somewhere along the way your message got lost on the journey down the yellow brick road.

Mondo thinks he knows what happened to your campaign for president. Basically, you peaked to soon. You always hear that phrase being bandied about in sports - think New England Patriots. You were too popular for your own good. It's not your fault the public anointed you as the frontrunner. In fact, it's an honor just to have been chosen and I'm sure if the elections were held two years ago we'd all be in the midst of a pantsuit craze.

Instead, what do you get? A one-way ticket to Palookaville? No, you get to go back to your day job as US Senator. Good for you, and now, "Hillary, you're fired!" Get back to work in Washington. Make a name for yourself as a Senator who championed Healthcare reform and brought universal health to all Americans. That's a legacy you can be proud of. It will make you immortal in US history.