Sunday, March 9, 2008

Armed & Studious

PHOENIX, ARIZONA — Horrified by recent campus shootings, a state lawmaker here has come up with a proposal in keeping with the Taurus .22-caliber pistol tucked in her purse: Get more guns on campus.


The lawmaker, State Senator Karen S. Johnson, has sponsored a bill, which the Senate Judiciary Committee approved last week, that would allow people with a concealed weapons permit — limited to those 21 and older here — to carry their firearms at public colleges and universities. Concealed weapons are generally not permitted at most public establishments, including colleges.

Ms. Johnson, a Republican from Mesa, said she believed that the recent carnage at Northern Illinois University could have been prevented or limited if an armed student or professor had intercepted the gunman. The police, she said, respond too slowly to such incidents and, besides, who better than the people staring down the barrel to take action?

She initially wanted her bill to cover all public schools, kindergarten and up, but other lawmakers convinced her it stood a better chance of passing if it were limited to higher education.

“I feel like our kindergartners are sitting there like sitting ducks,” Ms. Johnson said last week when the bill passed the committee by a 4-to-3 vote.

This is a generally gun-friendly state, where people are allowed to carry a weapon on their hip without a permit as long as people can see it. Even so, Ms. Johnson acknowledges that her views come from the far right — she recently described herself, half-jokingly, she says, as a “right-wing wacko.”

Mondo knows guns don't kill people. People kill people. Sometimes, people with guns. Do the math and don't forget to wear your bulletproof vest to class.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Dirty Dishes Equals More Sex

Yes, I'm afraid it's true, men want sex, lots and lots of sex and are constantly thinking about new ways to get even more. Now, a study says that men helping out with the housework is that fastest way to Paradise City.


Dusting, vacuuming and even taking out the rubbish are the best ways to rekindle the marital flame, according to a US study of family life.

“Equitable sharing of housework is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction – and sometimes more sex too,” said Joshua Coleman, a psychologist and a senior Fellow at the Council on Contemporary Families, which commissioned the report. “Wives report greater feelings of sexual interest and affection for husbands who participate in housework.”

Mondo predicts men will soon abandon Victoria's Secret in favor of a new aphrodisiac - the isles of Bed, Bath & Beyond. Does this scrubby come in extra large?

Friday, March 7, 2008

Golfer Makes A Birdie

Pro golfer Tripp Isenhour apologized for killing a hawk that was making noise while he tried to film a TV show. Now the Humane Society wants the PGA Tour to take action.

The 39-year-old player, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, became angry while filming “Shoot Like A Pro” on Dec. 12 at the Grand Cypress Golf Club when a squawking red-shouldered hawk roughly 300 yards away forced another take.

He drove closer to the bird in his golf cart and starting hitting balls at it. The bird didn’t move and Isenhour gave up and drove away.

Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said, “I’ll get him now,” and aimed for the hawk.

“About the sixth ball came very near the bird’s head, and (Isenhour) was very excited that it was so close,” Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

“As soon as this happened, I was mortified and extremely upset and continue to be upset,” Isenhour said in a statement issued through his management company, SFX Golf. “I want to let everyone know there was neither any malice nor deliberate intent whatsoever to hit or harm the hawk. I was trying to simply scare it into flying away.”

Mondo knows this - your goose is cooked!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

007 Girl Olga Kurylenko

Meet Olga Kurylenko, who this fall stars in the 22nd Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. Mondo's shaken and stirred.

Heaven Knows Chris Farley

Chris, guess you know by now that our good friend Patrick could use a little help with the Big Guy, so Mondo's wondering if you could do him a solid and let him know that the lad needs more time before he's dirty dancing with the stars?

Hillary Strikes Back!

Mondo was surprised, shocked and inspired that Hillary fought her way off the canvas. Way to own Ohio and Texas. Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride to the convention.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Hillary, you're fired!

Hillary, what happened? You were supposed to waltz into democratic nomination on your way to being crowned our first woman President. Instead, the hard fought campaign has left you a dazed and confused pantsuited politico.


Somewhere along the way your message got lost on the journey down the yellow brick road.

Mondo thinks he knows what happened to your campaign for president. Basically, you peaked to soon. You always hear that phrase being bandied about in sports - think New England Patriots. You were too popular for your own good. It's not your fault the public anointed you as the frontrunner. In fact, it's an honor just to have been chosen and I'm sure if the elections were held two years ago we'd all be in the midst of a pantsuit craze.

Instead, what do you get? A one-way ticket to Palookaville? No, you get to go back to your day job as US Senator. Good for you, and now, "Hillary, you're fired!" Get back to work in Washington. Make a name for yourself as a Senator who championed Healthcare reform and brought universal health to all Americans. That's a legacy you can be proud of. It will make you immortal in US history.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Movie Popcorn Keeps Ticket Prices In Check

So the movie theater owners are reporting that overpriced popcorn helps keep movie ticket prices lower. Hmm...who knew? Mondo wonders if we could bring movie popcorn to the healthcare industry to keep costs down. Just think, next time you need an operation you can say, "I'll have a triple bypass, a large Coke and a jumbo-sized popcorn extra butter."

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Tested & Ready

It's certainly no skate in the park getting elected President. Some say you have to learn new tricks while others feel that you should be tested and ready to be the next commander in chief of the United States. Mondo thinks the answer is to begin offering Presidential coursework at University and Colleges around the country.

Monday, February 25, 2008

No Viewers for Oscar Show

Perhaps we, the tv viewer, would have been better off if they had cancelled the Academy Awards as rumored during the writer's strike instead of what can be described as "underwhelming" at best?



Why does the show suck?

The best songs are lame and rarely translate to anything worth watching. Drop it from the show and shave at least a half hour off the broadcast.

Get rid of the technical awards and crafts. Who really cares about makeup and hair, costume design, art design, sound editing, film editing? After all, these are below the line categories and the Oscars is truly about the above the line: Actors, Writers, Directors and Producers. Lump these below the line awards with the special technical geek awards that are held separately.

Give the documentary and short film categories the boot.

How about nominating some blockbuster films that actually make money for a change like Transformers, Harry Potter instead of this art house crap that gets put on the discount rack at Blockbuster?

How about a best action movie category or better still, best comedy?

Finally, the show writing is not funny. There were 30 credited writers on the Oscar show but you would have never known it. Host John Stewart was flying solo and dropping bombs left and right. Mondo thinks next year let's have the show without the writers so we can see if there's any difference.

Say 'hello' to my little friend

In what could be a sign of hope in an uncertain economic future, Speedy Alka-Seltz has returned to bring relief to the upset stomachs of millions. Good news for the recession blues. Way to go, Speedy!



Saturday, February 23, 2008

Going Green

It's pouring rain in Los Angeles, deluge city, as Mondo schleps his way back from a pitch meeting in Hollywood and discovers that he's running on empty. Fortunately, there's a BP gas station up ahead at the corner of Olympic and Robertson.



It turns out to be an eco-friendly green station because of its design, materials and its use of water and energy. Yes, they still sell gas, but now you can brag to your friends and co-workers about just how green you are by filling up there.

And does it really matter how green you are?



You bet your ass!

Where's the Beef?



A very disturbing undercover video of cows on their last legs at Westland/Hallmark Meat Company has finally caused a stir: the largest recall of meat in USA history:143 million pounds of beef.

Where's the beef? Most likely in resting our bellies, already been eaten. Talk about the perfect crime. Additional records show that 37 million pounds of beef was sent to school-lunch programs. Kids, it is time to start brown bagging it or have Papa John's Pizza on speed dial.

Mondo thinks it is time for the American public to demand a national food safety program for all meats, fruits and vegetables before there's another incident. Meanwhile, the public won't have to worry about meatpacker Westland/Hallmark compliing with the program, as they have decided to close down.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Best Supporting Category

Now that the bloody awful Writer's Guild Strike has been settled Hollywood is focusing its attention on Sunday's Academy Awards Ceremony. Look for it to be a festive, star-studded extravaganza full of pomp and circumstances and little gold statues. Mondo thinks the real winners of the evening will be the fashion industry and picks Jimmy Choo as the winner in the Best Supporting Category.







Electric Shock Therapy


It is an extremely rare photograph. Incredible. Impossible almost. During violent bad weather which fell down recently on Rio de Janeiro, the statue of Christ redeemer of Corcovado was struck by the lightning. Fortunately, this famous monument, which was selected last year to form part of the seven new wonders of the world, only very slightly suffered. This 38 height meters statue, works of Landowski and Costa, dominates the Brazilian capital since 1931

Money to Burn



Mondo checked out the Obama/Clinton debate last night and was left with the conclusion that both candidates are equally qualified for office and therefore the debate was a tie.

As far as Mondo's concerned, the tie breaker is the candidate's campaign finances. After all, running the country involves managing a budget trillions of dollars so what better indicator of a candidate's ability to lead the nation than the way they handle their $100 million plus budgets because eventually one of them as President will be spending your hard earned tax dollars.

The New York Times is reporting today that "Clinton Donors Worried by Campaign’s Spending." According to the article "Nearly $100,000 went for party platters and groceries before the Iowa caucuses, even though the partying mood evaporated quickly. Rooms at the Bellagio luxury hotel in Las Vegas consumed more than $25,000; the Four Seasons, another $5,000. And top consultants collected about $5 million in January, a month of crucial expenses and tough fund-raising...As part of their get-out-the-vote effort in Iowa, the campaign came up with a plan to have a local supermarket deliver sandwich platters to pre-caucus parties. It spent more than $95,384 on Jan. 1 at Hy-Vee Inc., a local grocery chain in West Des Moines, Iowa, in addition to buying loads of snow shovels to clear the walks for caucusgoers. Mrs. Clinton came in third in the Jan. 3 caucus. It did not snow...Clinton paid $275,000 to Sunrise Communications, a South Carolina firm that was supposed to turn out black voters for her and collected nearly $800,000 in total. She lost...In January: the campaign spent more than $11,000 on pizza and $1,200 on Dunkin’ Donuts runs."

Wow! Hillary's already spending like she's the President.

Mondo's wondering, "Whose Xeroxing Who?"

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Not Another Political Ad!

Check out the latest political ad featuring Hillary Clinton from Scott Bateman.  It's funny stuff!

Obama for America!



This email was forwarded to me by a Barack Obama supporter. It reminds Mondo of the bible story of David vs. Goliath. Decide for yourself. Mondo always roots for the underdog!


From: "David Plouffe, BarackObama.com"
Date: February 21, 2008 9:33:53 AM PST
To: MondoMouth
Subject: A hundred versus a million
Reply-To: info@barackobama.com

Mondo --

News broke yesterday that a few wealthy Clinton supporters are gearing up for a massive spending campaign to boost her chances in the big upcoming contests in Texas and Ohio on March 4th.

The so-called "American Leadership Project" will take unlimited contributions from individuals and is organized the same way as the infamous Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

ABC News reports that this group is seeking 100 Clinton supporters to each give $100,000 to fund its $10 million effort to promote Senator Clinton and "contrast" her positions with Barack Obama's.

That's the opposite of how politics should work, and the opposite of how Barack Obama has run this campaign.

The same day this group's activity was revealed, we announced that nearly 1 million individual people have donated to this campaign.

Stand up against politics-as-usual. Help reach the goal of 1 million donors calling out for change by encouraging a first-time donor to own a piece of this campaign.

If you give as part of our matching program, you will double the gift of a new donor. You can even choose to exchange a note with them about why you are part of this movement.

Make your matching donation now:

https://donate.barackobama.com/promise

Groups like this are forbidden from working primarily for the purpose of electing or defeating a candidate.

Yet here we have a committee that springs up on the eve of an election, promotes a specific candidate, and has no history or apparent purpose of lobbying specific issues outside the benefit to the candidate of these communications.

This raises a number of legal and ethical issues, but more than anything it reveals an attitude towards politics as a game that is played to win at all costs.

Americans are ready for change. We are tired of Swift Boat-style groups and smear campaigns.

Help reach the unprecedented goal of a million voices calling for a new kind of politics and a new kind of leadership.

Make a matching donation now:

https://donate.barackobama.com/promise

I'll keep you updated as the situation with this group evolves.

Thank you for your support,

David

David Plouffe
Campaign Manager
Obama for America



Fight Censorship



io9 is a sponsor of this awesome event in San Francisco on Saturday night, benefiting the free speech crusaders at Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. Hope to see you there! It's from 8-11 at 111 Minna. 10 bucks at the door goes to CBLDF.

Slowhand's Life In The Fast Lane



Guitar Hero Eric Clapton's autobiography is a muddled affair of self-doubt, self-destruction and self-loathing - all of which means that we can expect Hollywood suits to be creaming all over themselves to make this opus into another rock-star bio pic. Paging Marty Scorsese.

Clapton, who seems to have be blessed with Rasputiin's indestructible constitution, survives drugs, alcohol and a suicide attempt while his rock peers drop like flies. During the Sixites, Clapton who was a member of the supergroups, Yardbirds, Cream, Blind Faith and Dereck and the Dominos, and yet in each instance he grew tired of the band's music. The irony is that he is best known for the music from this period. Subsequently, Clapton's later work seems to be channeling the ghost of blues legend Robert Johnson.

Mondo says save yourself the eyestrain and wait for the movie unless you're in dire need of a survivor's guide to rock-n-roll.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Swimming with the Sharks

,

London graffiti artist Banksy is indeed laughing all the way to the bank these days having recently sold a piece at auction thru Sotheby's in New York for more than $1.8m. If you never heard of Banksy before then here's your chance to see what all the fuss is all about during a month-long exhibit of Banksy's work 29 February to 29 March 2008, will hosted at the Andipa Gallery in London. Mondo's going. Hope to see you there. Cheers.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Castro Quits Cuba!

Fidel Castro stunned the world by quitting the presidency of Cuba after learning that 49 years of service to the communist regime still did not entitle him to a retirement gold watch, "I know we are a poor communist island country but this is rediculous!" exclaimed Castro.

A government spokesman at the Office of Retired Workers said that after 10 years of unsuccessful bidding on Ebay for a gold watch, the Office had no choice but to break the news to El Presidente who promptly told them to take their watch and shove it.

Castro's immediate plans are still up in the air but sources have indicated that he is contemplating a trip to Miami to apologize to all the Cuban exhiles and then a vacation at Disney World.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Hot Celebrity Rehab Brands!


Amy Winehouse sings about rehab, "Tried to make me go to rehab and I said no, no, no". Yet, it seems with every passing day more and more celebrities are saying "Yes, yes, yes" to rehab including Amy herself. Why? How would I know? Mondo's not a celebrity, but I suspect that this could be the next, big thing in celebrity endorsement branding.



After all, you wear their clothes, illegally download their songs and watch them being hunted down by the paparazzi, so why not go to rehab where your favorite Hollywood celebrity stays? Why not make your next rehab special and pamper yourself at the Paris Hilton Hideaway, Lindsay Lohan Retreat or the Britney Spears Sanitarium?



Be sure to check out the innovative celebrity timeshare rehab plans which allow you to rehab around the world at reduced prices. And remember, just say "No, no, no," to ordinary rehab and "Yes, yes, yes," to your favorite star's celebrity rehab retreat. Franchise opportunities are available.

Jackie Moon's Model Behavior

ABA Basketball star Jackie Moon busts his moves with Supermodel Heidi Klum on and off the court in a stunning pictorial in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2008 . Nice trunks, Moon!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Nike Ghost



Nothing's more haunting than an empty, unused basketball court in this Mondomouth Nike "Hoops" spot.

Speeding in a Speedo



Swimmers, got the need for speed? Well then better get your hands on Speedo's Lazer Racer swimsuit which is built for speed and designed to shave milliseconds off the fastest swimmers pool time so don't be surprised when you see smoke on the water. Of course, Mondo's got some thoughts on the mash-up of fashionistas and rocket scientists teaming up for the greater good. Does this milestone mean that the geeks will no longer be herded behind a hot club's velvet ropes? Click here to listen to MondoMouth or Click iTunes to listen to MondoMouth.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Spinal Tap



Spinal Tap performs at Concert For A Cause for International Myeloma Foundation. Starring Christopher Guest, Michael McKean & Harry Shearer. Mondo attended the gala event and says check out the charity's website at www.myeloma.org . Also, check out Harry on the bass guitar - nice recovery.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Baseball Spring Training Arrives

Mondo's excited about the 2008 Major League Baseball season. Here's my clip of what I'm looking forward to: